I'm not always a Princess in high heels, but I am definitely a pain in the ass in Heydudes

Some of us are depending heavily on our personalities because these summer body missions ain't working out, I say as I shove 2 oreos in my mouth.

I will rise again, like a phoenix that tripped over an extension cord, hurt its shoulder, and then awkwardly stood up.

I'm going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. I'll call it my oughtabiography

I don't care what they say. There is no way EVERYBODY was Kung Foo Fighting.

Good morning! I have no motivational speech today. Swing on 'em if they try to play you. Have a great day!

I had a thought, but unfortunately, I had second thought. They ricocheted off each other, and now, I can't find either one.

My top 3 assumptions when the doorbell rings: 1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking has arrived

How many times a week do y'all go to the grocery store? 30? It's 30 isn't it? WTF is wrong with me?!

idk how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you're into that.

I'm not bossy. I'm aggressively helpful.

I'm not mean, I'm spicy nice :)

Yay! I got it! Thank you all for your help!!!

Going for my 5k photo rates today. If you can help, I'd appreciate it!

Ok fam and friends. TOMORROW (Sunday) I'm going for my 5k pic rates. Can a girl get some help then?

Not elegant enough to be a vampire. Not jock enough to be a werewolf, soooo Goblin it is!

Some people will try to paint a bad portrait of you. Offer to autograph it for them.

We can't hang out if you're gonna cry every time they put us in handcuffs.

Alabama weather be like: Feeling cute. Might knock all your azeala blooms off with severe weather tomorrow. IDK

The weather is SO nice! It smells like married single men and suspended licenses outside!