For the last three years Ive been going to my aunts house for Thanksgiving, and there have been a Chinese couple there (Penphen and his wife Lin) spending the evening with us. This year Penphen brought his parents with. From my understanding it was their first time here in the states. So they were experiencing things for the first time, simple things too. They dont have grass, so his mom and dad actually had my aunt bring out their lawn mower so they could cut grass. Penphen's father is 77, and Ive never seen someone smile so much while cutting grass. His wife didnt seemed as thrilled by it though.
Neither of his parents spoke English, so there was a LOT of "can you translate this" and "what did she say" during the evening. His mother noticed my tattoos and had to inspect them, I learned my Japanese tattoos are actually Chinese! My confusion there was that I ACTUALLY BOUGHT A JAPANESE DICTIONARY to get these tats, so I would KNOW for SURE what it said. Well, on the plus side, it DOES say what I expected it to say, its just a different language. So either Chinese and Japanese use similar kanji, or it was just an awesome coincidence that it matched up. Well, one tattoo was exact, the other one was close enough, I was told some things dont translate over exactly the same way, which Ive heard before.
His mom and dad made, and had for the first time, both mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. They liked the mashed potatoes, but dont think either one was a fan of the pie. (I think it was probably the texture of the pie, at least, that's my problem with pumpkin pie) The one odd thing was they felt the need to tap you as they tried talking to you (Im not really a fan of people touching me, so I smiled and beared through it) Penphen's mom and Lin were talking back and forth, and Lin asked me his mom wanted to know my age, so I told her, then she asked if I found Chinese women attractive (One, how can you say no to something like that? Two, if a woman is attractive, she's attractive, I dont really let ethnicity get in the way of someone being hot) Then I was informed that his mom was going to bring me a Chinese girl here for me to marry (Didnt bother to ask if I was dating someone or anything '_') so THAT was brought up for the rest of the night.
There was plenty of laughing, and I had a fairly good time tonight. I was interesting to see people react to being able to experience things for the first time. I learned a lil chinese. which Im sure Ill forget by morning anyways :P
I was riding the bus on my way to work today, and of course it being rush hour meant the bus was packed and loud. A seat directly behind the bus driver opened up and I took it. A few moments go by and my phone rings, I answer it and the woman on the other end cant hear me because of how loud the bus is, so I speak louder. Im trying my hardest not to yell, because nothing pisses me off more while on the bus than hearing some asshat scream at the top of his lungs while on the phone. Im trying to explain relative comparisons to the girl on the other end.
I tell her, if my mom were a cow and my father a bull, Id be a calf. If my mom were a doe and my father a deer, I would be a fawn. We come to a red light and the bus driver turns around and asks, "Well, what if my mother were a loud ignorant bitch, and my father was an annoying asshole, what would I been then?"
To which I replied "Well, Id be a fucking bus driver"
It was a nice day for a walk...
Ive been living with my mom since my dad got sick. Ive been taking care of her since he passed away. A few weeks ago, my mom told me "You dont have to stay here if you dont want to" she didnt say it in a "get the Hell out of my house" kind of way, she told me she meant it as she didnt want to feel responsible for me putting my life on hold to take care of her.
About two weeks ago, I had asked her if she would have a problem with me giving her money if I moved out. She started crying and said "So youre just gonna leave me here? Like your brothers and sister did?" Which I felt was kinda a guilt trip. She JUST told me I could move out if I wanted to. The thing is, I cant afford to move out AND support her. Ive oddly become a single child once my dad died seeing as my other siblings cant be bothered to help.
My sister moved to Colorado, leaving behind a condo she hasnt been able to sell. She told me I could move in and all she would charge me would be the associtation fees. (theyre only $365 a month) Which means, I actually WOULD be able to move out and continue to support my mom. And if I got a roommate, it would be even easier. The thing is, I know my mom doesnt want to be in the house alone. We were broken into back in August and now she's afraid every time I leave for work. I dont come home til late. Would moving out be selfish of me? I need some privacy and it WOULD be nice to have a conversation with another adult besides my mom or some drunk at work.
Anyone?
1. Im a nail biter
2. I always feel like I have to be "on"
3. I LOVE the cold. I rarely wear a jacket during the winter, and constantly have the air on in my car year round... when I actually HAVE a car that is
4. Im not at all the same person online as I am in person. Im more shy and quiet
5. Ive become more of a shut in the past few months even though Im meeting more people
6. Im extremely charismatic, and hate it at times
7. Im proud to admit Im a hypocrite
8. I have a fear of sock puppets, and NO, I dont want to explain why
9. I havent had any caffeine in almost 2wks, and havent snapped on anyone... surprisingly
10. I can never think of ten things to fill these lists up with...
People who act smarter than everyone else but cant read a simple map.
Women who refer to themselves as milfs (dont they know the term is moms i'd like to fuck?... I'D like)
Turnips... just because
Watching people react angrily to things that happen to them, yet laugh about doing the SAME thing to others
Season 12 of South Park (y)
Hypocrites (True, I can admit Im a hypocrite myself, but if you cant laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?)
Mitch Hedberg
Those "Hitler reacts" videos on YouTube
Sweatin' to the Oldies vol. 2,3 and 5
Watching when my dad tried to play Halo...
he hasnt mastered "Pong" on Atari, but he thought he could handle an Xbox
People who walk up to a locked door, try to open it, step back, look around, then try to open it again before leaving.
I know its not much of a list, but I was trying to go for something thats a lil more than a "Blow off some steam and rant" type blog, or a "Whoa is me" blog that seems to be the norm lately.
What makes some of you laugh?
There's a fly hovering about 12inches above a pond, and a fish is watching it, thinking to itself "you know, if that fly drops 6inches, I can jump up and have me a nice lil snack"
There's an eagle watching the fish watching the fly, and the eagle is thinking to itself "If that fly drops 6inches, the fish can jump up at the fly and I can swoop in while the fish is distracted and eat the fish and have a nice lil snack"
Now there's a bear watching the eagle watching the fish watching the fly and its thinking to itself "If that fly drops 6inches the fish can jump up to eat the fly, the eagle should swoop in to eat the fish and I can grab the eagle and have me a snack"
Now there's a hunter watching the bear watching the eagle watching the fish watching the fly and the hunter is thinking "If that fly drops 6inches the fish will leap for the fly, the eagle will swoop down for the fish, the bear will grab at the eagle and while the bear is distracted, I can shoot it and have me a trophy"
Now theres a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the eagle watching the fish watching the fly and the mouse thinks to himself "If that fly drops 6inches the fish will get the fly, the eagle will get the fish, the bear will get the eagle the hunter will shoot the bear and I can run and eat the hunters cheese"
Now theres a cat watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the eagle watching the fish watching the fly, and the cat is thinking to itself "If that fly drops 6inches the fish will get the fly, the eagle will get the fish, the bear will get the eagle, the hunter will shoot the bear the mouse will go for the cheese and I can pounce on the mouse and have me a snack"
So the fly drops 6inches, and the fish eats the fly, the eagle eats the fish, the bear grabs the eagle, the hunter shoots the bear, the mouse gets the cheese and the cat leaps for the mouse, but over shoots and lands in the water...
Did you catch the moral of the story?
Everytime a fly drops 6inches...
a pussy gets wet
There is guy that comes into work all the time. And you can tell, JUST by looking at him, he's a real piece of shit. Some things have... "happened" at work and we KNOW its him that did it, we just have no way of proving it. Well, he comes in today with two "lady friends" and they sit down and start scratching lotto tickets. One of the ladies comes up and said "I dont understand this, can you double check it to see if I won?" Fine, I deal with stupid people ALL day anyways, so Im used to it. So I run it through and "FILE CLAIM" pops up. So I tell her that she has won more than what we're allowed to pay out. In Illinois, anything over $600 has to be paid by the lotto offices because Uncle Sam needs his cut. So I tell her to go downtown to the Thompson Center to cash in the ticket. She looks at it and asks how much she won. I look at it again, and Im checking all over the ticket to see why she would have to go downtown to cash it in. And after adding up all the possible prizes on the ticket, its only worth like, $82. So I was a lil confused. I told her maybe the ticket was old, that even though the game itself is still current, the ticket itself might be too old. She goes back to her seat and continues scratching.
About five mins later, the guy comes up, throws a different ticket at me, and says "cash it" (Hes a REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL ignorant piece of shit) So after expressing my being annoyed with him, I run it through the machine, and "FILE CLAIM" pops up again... Which, right away, I found to be a lil odd. So I throw the ticket right back at him and tell him the same thing, he has to go down to the Thompson Center to get his money. (The ticket was only worth $30) And of course he is getting an attitude about it. We tell him if the machine says we cant cash it, we cant cash it. He's going on about what a bunch of bullshit this is, and he was THIS CLOSE to playing the race card.
So my boss calls up the Hotline to explain what was going on. He tells the guy on the phone the story, asks for the ticket and starts reading the serial number off to the guy on the phone. He then turns around and tells the guy that handed him the ticket, that we were right, the ticket itself was too old. And even though the game is still current, the ticket is old and he would have to go to a lotto office to collect. He then told him, that even though he is collecting at an office, taxes wont be taken out of any claim under $600.
The guy and the two ladies have a few more beers, scratch a few more tickets each, they get a few more winners that we cant cash because the tickets are too old, and then they leave. About ten minutes after they leave, my boss comes up to me and says "Want a good laugh?" I say sure. He tells me the tickets that the guy had, were stolen out from one of the machines last night. He found that out when he was reading the serial number off to the guy on the other end of the phone. The guy on the other end off the phone explain the tickets were stolen, and then told my boss to tell him to inform the guy he had to come into an office to collect, the tax free part was thrown in there to get him to bring in as many of the winning tickets as he could, because most people are going to go collect $5 if they have to pay a tax on it. He then explained that because the state of Illinois makes a certain percent on every ticket sold, him stealing the tickets is considered a felony, since he is preventing the state from making that percentage, which they said is just like stealing from the government. He also said that when the state actually has cases like this come up, which happens a lot more often then I thought, that they dont go by the price of the ticket when figuring out how to charge them, they go by the sum of the jackpot of EACH ticket turned in. So if he has seven tickets where the jackpot is worth $75,000, the person being busted for stealing the tickets gets charged with the theft of $75,000 X seven (Can we say "Grand theft larcey" boys and girls?) Because the state feels that if the tickets werent stolen, people would have bought them (Which they would have) and that is the prize all those people would have been wanting to win. The guy had 3 STACKS of tickets. There must have been easily, 400 tickets, and the odds on the tickets are 1in5 win, even if its just a break even prize.
I KNOW this guy is going to turn in the tickets, he's THAT predictible. And I cant wait til he does, because theres NO way he'll be able to smooth talk his way out of having THAT many stolen tickets and make it sound believable, which means, I dont have to deal with that worthless piece of shit ever again :)