1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE YOU HUMP!
2. BEFORE YOU ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER!
3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY!
4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT!
5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER!
6. YOU CAN'T GO WRONG IF YOU SHIELD YOUR DONG!
7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT!
8. IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY!
9. IF YOU SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE!
10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF YOU WRAP YOUR PETER!
11. SHE WON'T GET SICK IF YOU WRAP YOUR DICK!
12. IF YOU GO IN HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT!
13. WHILE YOU'RE UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS!
14. WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, ZIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE!
15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER!
16. NEVER, NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER!
17. DON'T BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL!
18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION!
19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL!
20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER!
21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!
