I'm tired of sleeping alone
I'm tired of being
Of being so faceless, so unnoticed, and so unknown
I'm tired of stupid, sarcastic sentiments
So much sacrifice that only
Gets the return of bad intent,
So fake and plastic
If it lasts, it
Is only to teach me
What all this misery has meant,
Nothing but shit
I'm tired of stupid fucking questions
Of lectures lent
Just to mold me from everything told to me
To make me something I never
Wanted in the end
I'm tired of hypocrites,
Phony fuckers, faking emotion,
Hoping a hand held out
Gets them much more than they spent
I'm tired of everyone knowing
While I'm clueless because I'm not being
What they had in mind for me,
They think I should have my shit together
But there hasn't been enough time to be
Anything but alone, tragically, magically
Melting away, dying to die, trying to hide
That I hate everything about my whole fucking life
I'm tired of guessing what's next
While I'm second guessed every chance that they get
I'm tired of repressing, relenting, digressing
I'm so tired of stressing, feeling there's nothing impressing
About me, about anything, about anything about me
I feel like I'm empty, running on nothing, coming undone
To work ten times harder just to go on in a world so disgusting
Fighting daily to find any reason to continue trusting
While every fiber of my being is busting
Praying I have anywhere else but the only place I've ever known
A place that for many years has not felt like home
Reliving my life in my head, reluctant, unwanted, unending, so numbing
It seems like I'm awakening to the reality that is shit
While so many around me continue dumbing,
Dumbing down, coming down
From any chance of ever seeing how bad this whole fucking world is sucking
I have no hope
I have no home
I have no reason, no need, nothing, not even
A chance of changing the circumstance
Of constant paranoid, perhaps a bit delusional
Usual uselessness and maybe what you think is unusual cluelessness
But I'm tired, too tired to sleep, too tired to care, too tired to dream, too tired to do this
To do my best or even do anything
To do more than live at the bottom when I'd settle for somewhere in the in between
I'm just tired, expired, denied, defied, mired in the muck and fucking fire