You know I sit here and I smile and everyone thinks I am happy all the time but if you only knew what really was going on in my life you would be shocked. I cry myself to sleep almost every night wondering why my life is in peices along with my heart and I never get an answer. I thank god everyday for my real friends in my life because they are the ones that talk to me and tell me that I am strong enough to make it. Now granted I have come a long way and I am doing better than what I was but still not there yet and I have someone threatening to knock me back down and I am so close to doing something I will regret. So my head is fucked up and in the wrong place but what do I do?? I cant loose what I have gained I have to keep goin on and keep waking up everyday and I wonder why? Whats the point?